Some jokes:

Joke 1:

 A young man fell in love with a neighbor girl in the village. After a while he took the girl with him and presented her to his parents.

 After he showed his infatuation, his father asked to speak with him in private. When they were alone, the father told him that he absolutely must not marry this neighbor girl, as she was actually his half-sister. His father was also the father (out of wedlock) of this girl next door.

 The son did as he was told and broke up with the girl next door.

 It didn't take long until the son found a new neighbor girl with whom he fell in love. When he then presented his new crush to his parents, the same thing was repeated. The father asked to speak to the son in private and informed the son that the son's new crush was also a half-sibling.

 The son did not like the situation, so he decided to talk to his mother and inform her about the situation.

 When the mother heard what the son had to say, she answered him: Don't worry about what "your father" says about this. He is not your father.

 

Joke 2

 An elderly couple lived a few centuries ago in a small village, which they basically never left.

 One day the old man went into town to see if he could buy anything new. When he found a mirror in the merchant's stall, he was delighted when he stood in front of the mirror. He thought that the person he saw in the mirror resembled his father. So he bought the mirror. He thought it might be a good fit to have the live portrait of his father in the hall at home in the farmhouse.

 On the way home to the farm, he remembered that his wife was not very fond of his father, so he decided to hang the newly bought mirror in the barn.

 Said and done. Now the mirror hung in its place in the barn. Every morning, when he entered the barn, the first thing he did was to look at the mirror portrait of his father.

 It wasn't long before his wife began to wonder what her husband was up to in the mornings. After all, he visited the barn every morning and always entered through the same door. Even Sundays. So she decided to check what was inside the barn door her husband entered every morning.

 When she opened the door and stepped in, she saw the mirror on the wall and stood in front of it. When she saw the old woman in the mirror, she thought: Yes, if it's that old hag he visits every morning, so be it!

 

Joke 3:

 Three men knocked at the entrance to hell.

 There stood the devil interrogating them about how many women they had slept with in order to decide which status symbol in the form of a transport vehicle they would be assigned i hell.

 When the first was asked: How many women have you slept with? he answered: only 2. First my first wife and then my second wife, after my first wife had passed away.

 The devil: It wasn't much to bring, but you get a pair of roller skates to get around in hell.

 When the secod guy was asked the same question, he replied: In my youth I fucked around a bit, but when I married my wife I stuck to her. So my answer will be about 12 different ones.

 The devil: It wasn't much to bring, but you get a bike to get around hell with.

 When the third was asked the same question, he replied: Because I was sometimes unfaithful and the women often fell for me, I have slept with over 40 women.

 Devil: That was a little better. You get a scooter to get around hell with.

 The three men decided to meet again in a week and tune out their first time in hell. - When they met, it turned out that the third man (with the scooter) was sad and started to cry. Then the other two asked him: Why are you crying? You have received the best status symbol - a scooter - much better than any of us.

 He then replied: When I was driving around with my scooter in hell, I ran into my wife and she was driving around in a Rolls Royce. 

Joke 4: A joke on the jukraine/Rusia war:

A Russian wife turned to her husband and asked, "What's this special military operation our glorious leader keeps talking about?" Her husband replied, "It's a war to stop America and NATO." "Oh, right” she says “How's it going?"

“Well” he replied “so far we have lost over 20 generals, 100,000 troops killed, countless injured, 3000 tanks, 300 aircraft, hundreds of helicopters, countless armoured vehicles, artillery and trucks, our flagship along with other naval ships, our army is being defeated in most areas and we have had to resort to conscripting 500,000 Russians including murders and rapists to replace our losses”.

“Wow” replied the wife “what about America and NATO”?

“They haven’t turned up yet”

Joke 5: (From Benny Hill): The wife is on her deathbed. The husband says his last words to his wife: Farewell, dear wife and mother of four children. The dying wife replies: Farewell, dear husband and father of one child.

Joke 4 about the Ukraine/Russia war:

A Russian wife turned to her husband and asked: "What is this special military operation that our great leader keeps talking about?"

Her husband replied: "It's a war to stop America and NATO."

"Well!" she says and "How is it going?"

"Well" he replied - "so far we have lost over 20 generals, 100,000 soldiers killed, countless wounded, 3,000 tanks, 300 aircraft, hundreds of helicopters, countless armored vehicles, artillery and trucks, our flagship along with other warships, our army is being defeated in most areas and we have had to call in 500,000 Russians including murderers and rapists to replace our losses".

"Wow" replied the wife "what about America and NATO"?

"They haven't appeared yet"

Joke 5: The Konkel berry:

A little boy comes to the pharmacy and asks the pharmacist while showing the pharmacist his brown berry:

Can Uncle Pharmacist tell me what kind of berry this is?

The boy hands the berry to the pharmacist. The pharmacist turns the berry over and over, but cannot identify it.

Pharmacist: Can I taste it?

The boy: Yes, that's fine.

The pharmacist bites into the berry and tastes it.

Pharmacist: Oh my god! It tastes like shit.

The boy: Yes, that's what I thought. It grew on a hair on my bottom

.

Joke 6: An intelligence test:

Three Finns looking for a job are subjected to an intelligence test:

The tester places a brick on the floor and asks the first one: What do you think of when you see the brick?

Guy #1: I think about walls.

Tester: How do you explain your thoughts?

Guy #1: I use bricks when I build walls.

Tester: Excellent!

Tester places a brick on the word in front of Guy #2 and asks: What do you think about when you see the brick?

Guy #2: I think about chimneys.

Tester: how do you explain your thoughts?

Guy #2: I use bricks when I build chimneys.

Tester: Excellent!

Tester places a brick on the word in front of Guy #3 and asks: What do you think about when you see the brick?

Guy #3: I think about fucking!

Tester: How do you explain you thinking that?

Guy #1: I always think about fucking!

Unfortunately, I don't know which of the guys got the job.

Joke 7: New intelligence test:

Three ladies are looking for a job. One is blonde, one is brunette and one is dark-haired. The blonde studied economics at university, the brunette studied mathematics and the dark-haired studied philosophy.

Who do you think got the job?

Answer: The one with the biggest tits,

Joke 8: An English lady told her friend that her great-grandfather died at Waterloo.

Friend: Interesting! On which platform did he die? - The lady interrupted the communication, because she thought the friend was a bit stupid, who asked "Which platform?". Her great-grandfather had lost his life in 1815 at the Battle of Waterloo. When she later told another friend about her stupid friend (without informing them that it was over 100 years ago), this other friend commented: Yes, it was really stupid. What does it matter after all these years?

Joke 9: Train from Gothenburg to Stockholm. A train and a passenger who is about to buy a ticket.

The passenger asks the station guard: When is the next train to Stockholm?

The train: It leaves at 2:00 p.m.

The passenger is walking around the station in Gothenburg until he suddenly storms up to the guard again and asks: Which platform does the next train to Stockholm leave from?

The guard: It leaves from platform 2.

The passenger is walking around the station in Gothenburg until he suddenly storms up to the guard again and asks: Where does the train on platform 2 at 2:00 p.m. go?

The guard: It goes to Stockholm.

The passenger is walking around the station in Gothenburg until he suddenly storms up to the guard again and asks: When is the next train to Stockholm?

The guard: It leaves at 2:00 p.m.

The passenger is strolling around the station in Gothenburg until he suddenly storms up to the guard again and asks: Which platform does the next train to Stockholm leave from?

Guard: It leaves from platform 2.

The passenger is strolling around the station in Gothenburg until he suddenly storms up to the guard again and asks: Where does the train on platform 2 at 2:00 PM go?

Platform: It leaves for Stockholm.

The passenger is strolling around the station in Gothenburg until he suddenly storms up to the guard again and asks: When does the next train to Stockholm leave?

Guard: It leaves at 2:00 PM.

The passenger is strolling around the station in Gothenburg until he suddenly storms up to the guard again and asks: Which platform does the next train to Stockholm leave from?

Guard: It leaves from platform 2.

The passenger is strolling around the station in Gothenburg until he suddenly storms up to the guard again and asks: Where does the train on platform 2 at 2:00 PM go?

Guard: It goes to Stockholm.

The passenger is strolling around the station in Gothenburg until he suddenly storms up to the guard again and asks: Where does the train on platform 2 at 2:00 PM go?

Guard: It leaves for Stockholm.

The passenger is strolling around the station in Gothenburg until he suddenly storms up to the guard again and asks: When does the next train to Stockholm leave?

Guard (irritated): It leaves at 2:00 PM.

The passenger is strolling around the station in Gothenburg until he suddenly storms up to the guard again and asks: Which platform does the next train to Stockholm leave from?

Guard: (a little more irritated): It leaves from platform 2.

The passenger is strolling around the station in Gothenburg until he suddenly storms up to the guard again and asks: Where does the train on platform 2 at 2:00 PM go?

Guard: The train (even more irritated): It goes to Stockholm.

The passenger strolls around the station in Gothenburg until he suddenly storms up to the guard again and asks: When is the next train to Stockholm?

The guard (somewhat annoyed): It leaves at 2:00 p.m.

The passenger strolls around the station in Gothenburg until he suddenly storms up to the guard again and asks: Which platform...?

The guard (particularly annoyed): Damned man! The train leaves from platform 2 for Stockholm at 2:00 p.m. Now I don't want to hear any more questions from you about this!

The passenger buys his ticket and enters the train. There is already another passenger sitting there. He (who has just got on the train) says to the other: What a strange guard you have here in Gothenburg. He both swears, misbehaves and is annoyed out there.

The other: I've never noticed that.

Joke 11: As the girl said: It came so suddenly!

Joke 12: Emergency on the plane.

During a flight across the Atlantic, the plane lost an engine and it became necessary to lighten the load. First, all the luggage was thrown out, but it was not enough. They had to throw out the passengers as well. The pilot informed the crew and passengers: We'll take it in alphabetical order! First, all the African Americans are thrown out. When that wasn't enough, he continued: The next group will be the All Blacks. When that wasn't enough either, he said: Now we have to throw out all Coloured people. Then a little black boy asked his father: Dad, aren't we coloured? The father replied: No son, today we are niggers.

Joke 13: Bicycle advertising.

An African American pays for a bicycle he has just bought at the bicycle shop and pedals away. The salesman is standing outside the shop. When the African-American turns the corner, a sound is heard: crash-slabang. Soon the African-American comes back with the bike. The front wheel is damaged and looks like a figure eight and the bike has damage. He asks for a whole new bike instead of the destroyed one. As it is within the warranty period. He gets a new bike and rides away. When he turns the corner, the same sound as before occurs: crash-slabang. The customer returns with the new bike, which also has a front wheel that looks like a figure eight and is damaged and asks for a new bike under warranty. The salesman gives him a new bike, but before delivering the new bike, he asks an assistant to go around the corner and see what is happening. When the customer cycles around the corner, the story repeats itself. New sound: crash-slabang. The assistant comes rushing in and tells the salesman that: When the customer cycles around the corner, he is met by a strong gust of wind, whereupon the customer's lips get tangled in the front wheel, causing the bike to tip over.

Joke 14: Little girl sits at the train station and cries.

Girl: Boo huu - A middle-aged uncle comes up to her.

Uncle: What is such a cute little girl crying about?

Girl: Boo huuu - I've lost my doll.

Uncle: Maybe I can help you. You can play with this little doll. He pulls down the fly and takes out his slightly erect penis and continues: You can cuddle this doll as much as you want.

The girl sits next to the man and chortles in delight while she caresses and kisses the doll's head. Pretty soon the uncle falls asleep while the girl continues to caress and kiss the doll's head ... After a while the uncle roars: Aaaaj, aaaj aaaj What the hell are you doing?

Girl: The doll spat in my face so I wrung its neck.

Joke 15: A little boy from the city is out walking in the country with his uncle. It is the first time he has visited his uncle who lives in the country. They are walking past a meadow where some cows and a bull are. At that moment a bull is about to climb onto the back of a cow to mate with her. 

 The boy: Uncle, what are those cows doing? 

 The uncle replies: They are jumping bucks.

 The boy: Yes, if that cow hadn't had her stick in the way, she might have managed to jump over.

Joke 16: A little girl is walking on a sidewalk sucking on a lollipop. A few strands of hair are hanging down from the lollipop. A boy who comes up to her points out: Girl, you have hair on your goodies.

 To which the girl replies: You're not really smart, you. I'm only eight years old.

Joke 17: The father in tense anticipation of his son, who will soon be born in the hospital waiting room.

An expectant father-to-be is pacing impatiently in the waiting room, hoping to soon hear the news that his son has been born. - When a nurse opens the door to the waiting room, he immediately asks: Is it my son who has been born? The nurse announces that he will have to wait a little longer. - This is repeated a few times and the nurse tries to calm him down each time. - But then the nurse opens the door and informs him that his son has now been born. 

 Nurse: I have to prepare you. Your son is deformed, so you need to brace yourself. - The man thinks: Well, then maybe there are some of the sports that I had planned to do that we cannot do. But you always have to accept fate and make the best of the situation. - The nurse leads the man to the first ward for defective newborns. There are newborns who are missing a leg. 

 The man asks: Is this where my son is lying? 

 The nurse answers: No, he is much worse off. 

 The man thinks: Oh, oh, then it will be difficult to engage in a number of sports. But you always have to accept fate and make the best of the situation.

 The nurse takes the still expectant man to the next room with defective newborns. There are newborns who are missing both legs.

 The man asks: Is this where my son is lying? 

 The nurse answers: No, he is much worse off. 

 The man then thinks: It will not work with tennis, football or ice hockey. But you always have to accept fate and make the best of the situation. 

 The nurse takes the still expectant man to the next room with defective newborns. There are newborns missing both legs and an arm.

 The man asks: Is this where my son is lying? 

 The nurse answers: No, he is much worse off.

 The man then thinks: Now there are not many sports we can do, but you always have to accept fate and make the best of the situation.

 The nurse takes the still expectant man to the next room with defective newborns. There are newborns missing both legs and both arms. 

 The man asks: Is this where my son is lying? 

 The nurse answers: No, he is much worse off. 

 The man then thinks: Then table tennis and some other sports won't work either. He will have to focus on para-Olympic sports. 

 The nurse takes the still expectant man to the next room with defective newborns. There are two eyes on a pillow. 

 The man asks: Is this my son? 

 The nurse replies: Yes, it's your son.

 The man thinks: You always have to accept fate and make the best of the situation and exclaims while jumping up and down waving his arms: Hello son, it's me who's your dad! 

 To which the nurse replies: Unfortunately, that will not help. Your son can't see you. He's blind.

Joke 18: A muggy, rainy evening in the south of France

 Three captains knock on the door of a house in the countryside. When the landlady opens the door, one of the captains asks: I wonder if we could spend the night here with you. It is chilly, rainy and cold tonight. The landlady replies: Yes, that would be fine. Go up the stairs and take one of the rooms on the left, but not the room on the right, because that is where my daughter sleeps. 

 Captain: Thank you for your kindness. We would be happy to take one of the rooms on the right. 

 After a while, there is another knock on the door and three lieutenants are standing outside. One of the lieutenants asks: I wonder if we could spend the night here with you. It is chilly, rainy and cold tonight. 

 The landlady replies: Yes, that would be fine. Go up the stairs and take one of the rooms on the left, but not the room on the right, because that is where my daughter sleeps. 

 Lieutenant: Thank you for your kindness. We would like to take one of the rooms on the right. 

 After another while there is another knock on the door and three sergeants are standing outside. One of the sergeants asks: I wonder if we could spend the night here with you. It is chilly, rainy and cold this evening.

 The hostess replies: Yes, that would be fine. Go up the stairs and take one of the rooms on the left, but not the room on the right, because that is where my daughter sleeps. 

 The lieutenant: Thank you for your kindness. We would like to take one of the rooms on the right. 

 The night passes and the morning dawns, but the weather is still rough outside. The hostess has prepared breakfast. - First the three captains come downstairs. The hostess asks them: Would you like porridge or Cornflakes for breakfast. 

 The captains all three answer that they would prefer Cornflakes for breakfast. Then the three lieutenants come downstairs. The hostess asks them: Would you like porridge or Cornflakes for breakfast. The lieutenants all three answer that they would prefer Cornflakes for breakfast. 

 Then the three sergeants come down the stairs. The hostess asks them: Would you like porridge or Cornflakes for breakfast. The sergeants all three answer that they would prefer Cornflakes for breakfast. 

 Then the daughter comes down the stairs. The hostess asks her: Would you like porridge or Cornflakes for breakfast.

 The daughter answers: I prefer porridge. 

 This proves that one in ten chooses to eat porridge for breakfast if they have to choose between porridge and Cornflakes.

Joke 19: An African-American father anxiously awaiting the birth of his son in the hospital waiting room.

An expectant African-American father-to-be is pacing impatiently in the waiting room, hoping to hear the news that his son has been born soon. - When a nurse opens the door to the waiting room, he immediately asks: Is it my son who has been born? 

The nurse announces that he will have to wait a little longer. - This is repeated a few times, and the nurse tries to calm him down each time. - But then a doctor opens the door. The doctor is nonchalantly holding an African-American baby hanging in his right hand. The expectant father wonders: Is that my son you have with you? 

 The doctor replies: Yes, it is your son. 

 The doctor, who is holding the baby with one hand on both feet, swings the baby back and forth. Then he walks up to the steel element and swings the baby's head violently against the element, so that the skull cracks. 

 The expectant father: But what the hell are you doing? 

 To which the doctor replies: I was just joking with you. Your son was actually stillborn.

Joke 20: Poop and pee joke.

A Swede and a Finn have ended up in the same sleeping car compartment on the way from Gothenburg to Stockholm. The Finn is in the lower compartment and the Swede in the upper. - A moment after the train has departed, the Swede lets out a foul-smelling fart. Whereupon the Finn lets out a real bang and says loudly: Now it's one on one in the fight between Finland and Sweden. 

 It only takes a moment for the Swede to let out an even stronger smoker that stinks disgustingly. - The Swede says: Now it's one against two in the fight between Finland and Sweden.

 The Finn responds quite immediately with a fart that is unfortunately a bit wet. - He says: Now it's two to two in the fight between Finland and Sweden. 

 But the Swede doesn't give up and lets out an even more disgusting and smelly fart and exclaims: Now it's two to three in the fight between Finland and Sweden. 

 Then the Finn (who is lying in the lower bunk) lets out a really wet fart that wets the sheet brown and says: Now it's three to three and thus half time and a change of sides.

Joke 21: Tourist in Japan

 The tourist needs to go to the toilet. When he has closed the door on himself and is about to sit on the toilet, he discovers that there are a lot of buttons that he can press and get all sorts of things done. He sits on the toilet and does what he came there for. He presses the buttons that dry him, rinse his ass and then dry it with hot air. Then he sees that there is another button marked ATR. Curiosity takes its toll and he presses the ATR button - Without noticing anything, he passes out. When he wakes up again, he is in a hospital bed with a large bandage around his lower body. 

 He asks the nurse: What does ATR mean? 

 She answers: Automatic Tampax Remover.

Joke 22: Jam on a plank

Once upon a time, a piece of jam was walking on a plank on a construction site. Suddenly, a brick comes flying from above. It lands on the piece of jam, which immediately dies. But it didn't matter because that piece of jam had an aunt in China who had a bicycle

Joke 23: Funny incident from my life

When I used to fly to the USA, I used to fill out the landing document where you have to state your nationality with the word Viking. - Usually nothing happened with that. But once there was an African-American woman sitting in the booth for passport control. She wondered why I had written my nationality as "Viking" and pointed to a table where I could fill out the form correctly. I obeyed her. 

 Several years later when I landed in the USA and, as usual, indicated my nationality as Viking on the landing form and handed over my passport and documents to the officer in the booth, I heard an angry voice that said in irritation: It's you again!

 And she - the African-American passport inspector from several years earlier - once again pointed the way to the table where I could fill out the form correctly.

Joke 24: Robert Almblad's Similar Adventures.

 My partner - Robert Almblad - who came up with the idea of starting the company Yankee Parts with me, was inspired by my practical jokes (like the one above). - When he was going to rent a car in Amsterdam, he filled in the form with the occupation: Janitor at the White House in Washington DC.

 When he then happily drove away in his rental car, he discovered after a while that he was missing his briefcase with all his documents and other papers. He then called the rental car company and asked if they had seen his briefcase. 

 The man who answered said: Well, we called the White House, but they didn't know of any janitor named Almblad. 

 At first Robert didn't understand what the man was babbling about. But soon it dawned on him what it meant and that the man was joking with him. Robert doubled over with laughter.

Joke 25: Another adventure with Robert

 When Robert and I flew home from the USA another time and landed late one evening at Kastrup (Copenhagen airport), we had decided that we would spend the night in Copenhagen and the next morning take the train to Gothenburg. We looked for a hotel that had rooms to rent that night. After asking around in five different hotels that were all fully booked, we came to one that had available rooms. I filled out the form that provided information about my home address and position (Danish stilling) in the profession of Standing. 

 The man who received the form asked: What kind of position is standing? I replied that I was standing up. 

 He then pointed to the door and said with irritation in his voice: OUT! 

  Robert and I set out on the streets of Copenhagen again. After asking about available rooms, we managed to find a free room at the fourth hotel we tried. It was past 1:30 a.m. and I was no longer joking when I filled out that form.

Joke 26: New adventure at the US airport in New York

 When I was about to land (like so many times before) at the airport, I had filled in my occupation as a Hästrunkare (in English Horse Masturbator). 

 The person at the passport control then asked: What kind of occupation is that? 

 I replied: One who is taking care of horses. He was satisfied with that. and I could continue my journey.

Joke 27: An article in the latest issue of the Economist (March 2024)

 My daughter - Caroline - subscribes to the Economist magazine for me. It is a Christmas present I get every year. - This time the Economist contained an article about gender reassignment surgery, where various doctors and psychiatrists gave their views on this.

 At the end of the article, a psychiatrist makes a statement saying: It can happen on some rare occasion that a patient suffers from multiple personality syndrome. Then there can be a conflict between the different personalities about which gender they want to keep or change. This becomes particularly serious if one or more of the different personalities are both male and female.

 I think this is a bit of Monte Python.

A PS. When and if someone requests that an individual with multiple personality approve the use of cookies on the internet, the law should stipulate that all of the individual's personalities approve this. And if an individual with multiple personality is caught speeding, only the personality who was driving the car at the time should lose their driver's license - Then it will be up to the authorities how this is to be administered.

Joke 28: Kålle and Osborn in Rome

Kålle and Osborn were out in Europe and on their way to Rome. When they stopped in Copenhagen, Paris and other places, there was always someone or a few cheering for Kålle. When they arrived in Rome, Osborn asked Kålle: Do you really know all these people cheering for you?

Kålle replies: Yes, of course. Almost everyone knows me. 

 When Kålle and Osborn are then standing in St. Peter's Square to watch the Pope come out onto his balcony and speak to the people, Osborn asks Kålle: Do you also know the Pope? 

 To which Kålle replies: Yes, I do. 

 Osborn: I really don't believe that.

 Kålle: If you don't believe that, I can go up to the Pope on the balcony, and you'll see. 

 Osborn: Yes, I will! 

 Kålle leaves Osborn and after a while Kålle appears next to the Pope on the balcony. Then an Arab taps Osborn on the shoulder and asks: Who is that standing there on the balcony next to Kålle?

Joke 29: My perhaps best "Practical joke"

My father was a doctor. He had some preparations in his medicine cabinet. There were sleeping pills. Whoever took these pills fell asleep. I thought I would try dissolving the pills in water and then pouring the liquid through some slices of bread, so that whoever ate the pieces of bread would fall asleep. I took the pieces of bread with me to my school . When school was on lunch break, I didn't go straight to the lunxch roomn. Instead, I went out to the park and scattered my "pieces of sleeping pills bread" to the pigeons. After I had eaten my school lunch, I took a bag I had brought from home and went out to the park and collected a number of sleeping pigeons. Then I went into the school premises and put the bag of pigeons in the cleaning cupboard.

 When the cleaning ladies opened the cupboard after we students had gone home, they got a slight shock when a number of pigeons fluttered out. - The next day the principal wanted to know who had placed the pigeons in the cleaning room. - I was careful to keep quiet and I hadn't informed anyone.

Joke 29: After putting pigeons to sleep with sleeping pills, I thought that if you made sure to soak bread pieces in alcohol, it should work to make seagulls drunk. So we (me and some friends) placed the bread pieces on the water in "bowls" that floated on the water in Malevik harbor. It didn't take long before seagulls appeared and greedily devoured the alcohol-soaked bread pieces. The seagulls quickly became wobbly in flight and some were unable to take off and fly away.

Joke 30: Little Karl was tired of the lesson. The teacher talked about the small birds and said: Humans have a body temperature of 37 degrees, but the small birds in the forest, with feathers and down, can reach a body temperature of 41 degrees.

 Then the teacher notices that Kalle is sitting half asleep and therefore asks Kalle: Kalle, what did I just say.

 Kalle replies: That the human body temperature is 37 degrees, but if you screw someone in the forest so that feathers and down fly around, you can reach a temperature of 41 degrees.

 Joke 31: Two men are sitting in a compartment on the train. The toilet is closed for repairs. One of them starts to screw up and looks impatient. Soon he gets up, pulls down the window, hangs his penis out the window, pees and releases a loud fart that makes the whole compartment stink disgustingly. 

 He explains: I was so desperate that I had to do this. 

 The journey continues but it is not long before he starts to screw up and look impatient again. He gets up, explains that he has to again, rolls down the window, lifts his penis and pees out the window, at the same time releasing another stining fart that stinks even more disgusting than the first and also spreads small brown particles into the air. The journey continues. Soon the man starts to look impatient and twists and turns. When he then gets up again the other man in the compartment says: Damn it, man! Piss me in my face and release your disgusting farts out of the window.

 Joke 33: From Benny Hill)

 The wife is lying on her deathbed. The husband says his last words to his wife: Farewell dear wife, mother of four children. 

 The dying wife replies: Farewell, dear husband and father of one child.

 Joke 34: Question:

Question: What do you say to a woman with two blue eyes?

Answer: Nothing - She's already been told twice.

 Joke 35: (Words from the great philosopher Povel Ramel):

Where do all the beautiful girls and handsome boys go?

Where do all the ugly old women and men come from?

 Joke 36: (from Ronald Reagan - President of the United States 1981 - 1988):

 The wife of an elderly couple to her old husband: I really would like to have some ice cream. Can you go and buy me an ice cream cone with vanilla ice cream?

Husband: Of course! I'll go and buy an ice cream cone with vanilla ice cream for you.

Wife: And I want cream on top of the cone. But make sure you write it down, so you don't forget anything.

Husband: No, I don't forget anything. Vanilla ice cream in a cone with cream on top.

Wife: I also want a cherry on top. But you have to write it down on a piece of paper or you'll forget something.

Husband: No, I remember it without a piece of paper. Vanilla ice cream in a cone with cream and a cherry on top.

The husband leaves (without a piece of paper) and comes back with a small package. When the wife opens the package, there is a ham sandwich in the package.

 Wife: But I told you to write down the order on a piece of paper, so you wouldn't forget anything. Now you've forgotten the mustard.

Also check out George Carlin's ironic joke about Christianity:

https://axiom1a.blogspot.com/2015/12/kristendom-religion-heliga-skrifter.html

Todd

 Also check: 

https://axiom1b.blogspot.com/2023/08/right-wing-singer-successful-on-spotify.html

and:

https://axiom1b.blogspot.com/2015/12/christianity-religion-holy-scriptures.html